Personality Development Camps

Exams over, April comes with Holidays
March end means summer holidays. As soon as the exams are over near April 10 all students will be having around 2 months of holidays. In Nagpur this season is for Summer Camps. Many are named as "Medha Samvardhan Shibir", "PreraNaa Shibir", "Personality Development Camp", "Confidence Camp" and what not.


Camp life is thrilling
I strongly believe that students should go to these types of camps, as these camps teach the students discipline, yoga, cooperation, time awareness, self respect and self confidence. All these qualities introduced in one package, is what makes these camps a place worth to visit once in a season.

You come to know others
The most important thing students get in these camps apart from all other things is acquaintance with many more students from different areas. This exposure is what makes them open up with their problems and build internal confidence.

First Hand Experience of Failure

I was told that there is a requirement for PHP programmer in a company. I announced this news in my PHP batch which will be finished till April 15th. I also told the students that when they will be going through the application process and interview dates, our course will be almost over. I also told them that we have talked with the company people and they are willing to hire even such candidate who is about to finish a PHP course under my guidance.

I was insisting one student to apply and proceed. He was hesitant and was making excuses about not to go apply and interview. I wondered how can somebody say so who is aspiring for IT field.

After some counseling he told me about some of his friends who appeared for interviews and due to less knowledge were fired and now are dejected. He was afraid of being fired. I told him to be afraid of something which hasn't happened with you in life is foolishness. This means other people are controlling your life. Your friends control your life. They got fired. There may be many reasons apart from the reasons they have told. And the most important thing is even if it is failure; you must have first hand experience of failure.

After saying this I told him not to be afraid and take the experience and then decide. We must keep experimenting with ourselves. Some day there will come "eureka" moment when our experiment will succeed.

Now I wonder what I said, even if it is failure you must have first hand experience of failure. I understand learning from other people's failures. But yes there are some places where we must have first hand experience of the failure, if it has to be, to get along and get tough.

When a friend takes you away

When a friend takes you away from your studies, then he cannot be your true friend. Times may come that your true friends ask you to spend some time with them, when you need to study. This is a crucial time. You have to say no to the friend. You have to show courage of telling the friend that if he asked to bunk studies then he is not a true friend. If he really is a true friend he will get the message quickly. Probably he will also join the study.

Friends who take you away from your health and study are actually enemies in a friends disguise. If I want to be true friend to somebody I always look if unknowingly I am taking my friend away from his studies. I have no right to ruin his life just for mundane happiness of temporary moments.

If you cannot change the peer group to behave in favor of study and health, either you have to be more influential to make decisions for the whole group or you must have the courage to change your peer group. Even form a new group with your own ideals.

Friendship is the most beautiful association on the earth if taken seriously.

Beauty is in the Eyes

"How beautiful is she looking today!" These were the words uttered by a mother for her 4 years young daughter. Only a mother can say something like this for that girl. For others that girl was a dark colored ugly looking girl. On top of that the mother had put a light colored dress on the girl. What a horrible combination!

When some one looks ugly to us, who should we blame, or held responsible?

When I feel someone is looking ugly to me, I get alerted. Am I having too much accumulated pride for my looks? I instruct myself that beauty is relative, and after some time I can see all people beautiful around me. (A Shallow Hal like effect.)

Bent Chin

A reserved girl
… She was having a different type, not normal type of chin. She was keeping her eyes towards the floor, so no one should notice the deformity. She was not mixing with friends, behaving like a reserved girl …

What really is beautiful?
If all the girls on the earth were having bent chin, then may be a girl with straight chin be called as a ugly girl! A thought crossed my mind.

Beauty is relative
Then why to worry for such a thing which is not in our hands? The people, who are having beautiful features, are having it naturally and they haven't earned it through their actions in this life.


So unnecessarily we should not flag ourselves ugly, or get dejected. Who will tell this to that girl? Will it be easy for her to understand this?

Glimpses of a Poem 2

Grace name is synonymous to mysterious words. Words with deep meaning and a internal rhythm. We not only get involve in the rhythm but also become overwhelmed with emotions coming from between the lines of the poem.

In his book "chandramaadhaveeche Pradesh", Grace has written a wonderful poem named "paauusgaaNe".

meghaa.nche kosaLatee parvat
daree ninaade door
gaav chimukaLe vaahoon jaaiil
asaa kashaalaa poor

Rain when takes the form of flood, it can take away all the things it has given us. Grace has achieved a dramatic effect of fear from the word mountain in the first line of this stanza. Most of the poems written by Grace are picturesque. They create an exact picture of what is happening in from on our eyes.

In the third line when he says tiny village, it efficiently expresses the awareness of nature's power of destruction. Yes in front of this nature we are really trivial, and tiny in size. When we think of our galaxy we get the feeling how small we are and then if we think about our arguments and fights between person and person we can understand how foolish we are.

The village is being carried away along water in the flood and the viewer is helpless with numerous question in mind about why me? Why me?

Each time I read this poem it creates a strange touchy feeling in me. Ok friends this is for today.

Flowers, Birds, You and Me - Mangesh Padgaonkar

Some years back I have tried translation of one poem by famous Mangesh Padgaonkar, from his great poetry book "BolagaaNee".

Flowers, Birds, You and Me

Flowers I have seen
since my birth…

Their color
Their fragrance
Rhythm blended
Their dance

Flowers I have seen
Since my birth…

Unexpectedly one day
You came with flowers
Without a word you smiled
Those were wonder hours

Since then their appearance
Was newer and loving for me
Together they all seem
As if they're smiling for me

Now I love each flower
Just for you
Like those pretty moments
Every flower seems new

Now I have for each flower
Sweet blossomy explanations
They have developed with me
Mysterious hearty relations

Birds I have seen
Since my birth…

Their floating
In the air
Lively smooth
Colorful layer

Birds I have seen
Since my birth…

On that melodious evening
Fortune was in my hands
I was in the sea of joy
Holding your shy hands
A bird was singing
Romantic tune that time
From the deep dark green lands

Now I want every bird
Just for you
Like those touchy moments
Every bird seems new

Now I understand
Birds in a better way
They are beautiful singing parts
Playing in my romantic play.

(original poem - phule, pakshee, too aaNi mee, by Mangesh Padgaonkar from his book bolgaaNee, swair anuwaad - Tushar Joshi, i.e. yours truly :-)

Glimpses of a Poem 1

Some words from the master of Marathi poem, the one and only "Grace".

paauus aalaa paauus aalaa
gaaraa.nchaa varshaav
gure aDakalee raanaamadhye
dayaaghanaa too dhaav

Second two lines of the stanza gives a drift to the whole poem, showing us the concern in the eyes of the farmer. See, when someone talks about cattle the place of the poem can be depicted easily as a country side, rural area, may be a "gaav" of some 100 houses. The real pain of the last two lines can only be understood when we substitute the word "gure" (cattle) with "mule" (children).

mule aDakalee raanaamadhye
dayaaghanaa too dhaav

For a farmer his cattle is just like his children so what children mean to us is cattle mean to him. Now feel the pain of dear ones in distress and your helplessness of not being able to do anything to save them. So the only place to ask for help is now the almighty who has created all the things.

The word "dayaaghanaa" chosen to call the almighty has deep meaning. Prayer is for god to provide help as we cannot provide help, even if we try. These lines exactly express our helplessness over the natural resources and their calamities.

Tushar
(mee aahe shabda haLavaa, shabdaa shabdaa.nnee phulaNaaraa, shabdaa.nchyaa hi.ndoLyaavar dhu.ndeet sadaa jhulaNaaraa - yours truly)

Blessings and Tears: A Night of Giving

We were a group of friends, young and eager to make a difference. We called ourselves "Surabhi Yuva Manch," our mission was to do something meaningful. After endless debates on what "needy" meant and whether charity was even necessary, we were still at a loss for how to proceed.

Then, inspiration struck. It was December, and the cold was biting. Someone suggested collecting old, unused bed sheets from our homes to give to the beggars at the temples in Nagpur. The idea caught on quickly. Once we shared it with our neighbors, we collected 150 bed sheets in a week. It felt like a small victory, a testament to the power of community synergy.

But how could we genuinely identify those in need? This question led us to a profound realization. We decided to venture out at midnight when most would be trying to sleep. This way, we could find those genuinely struggling against the cold without a sheet to cover them.

The night of our venture was both exhilarating and heart-wrenching. We set out on our bicycles, our carriers laden with bed sheets, like a modern-day caravan on a mission. What we encountered was beyond words. I'll never forget the sight of a six-year-old boy sleeping bare on the cold pavement. I draped a sheet over him, and he clutched it so fiercely in his sleep it was as if he feared it might disappear. That moment, with tears in my eyes, made me think of my own brothers, safe and warm at home.

We met an elderly woman, shivering, who blessed us with heartfelt gratitude, and a mother, desperately trying to keep her children warm, who wept when we handed her sheets. In just thirty minutes, all our bed sheets were distributed, but the vastness of Nagpur and the scale of need left us feeling both fulfilled and helpless.

The ride back home was silent. No one spoke because the emotions were too raw, too deep for words. We knew if anyone uttered a sound, it would just unleash a flood of tears.

Reflecting on that night still moves me to silence. It was a lesson in humanity, in the stark realities of need, and the profound impact of simple acts of kindness.

If you want to remove mud - pour more water

A Glass of Water and Mud

Imagine you have a glass with some mud at the bottom. This mud is irritating, something you can't stand, and touching it is scary. But there's a simple solution to get rid of it without even touching the mud.

Here's what you do: Hold the glass under a running tap. As the water fills the glass, it dilutes the mud. Eventually, the water overflows, carrying the mud away until only clear water remains. The trick is to keep pouring water until there's no room left for the mud.

This idea can be applied to life, too. What if we could fill the world with so much good that there's no room left for bad? Imagine if we could do this:

• Replace bad habits with good ones: Just like mud gets washed away by water, can't we replace a disturbing habit with a beneficial one? Instead of removing the bad habits, we emphasize cultivating good ones so strongly that the bad ones fade naturally.
• Spread positivity: By focusing on good deeds, positive thoughts, and acts of kindness, we can dilute the negative aspects around us. If we fill our lives with appreciation, forgiveness, and love, there might be less space for negativity.

Here's how you can start:

• Appreciate someone today: Look for the good in your friends and let them know you see it.
• Apologize without hesitation: If you've made an error, own it with a sincere apology.
• Focus on happiness: Make today about filling your life with joy and positive actions, leaving little room for the unwanted.

The essence is not about directly battling the bad but nurturing the good so much that the bad naturally diminishes. Let's fill our world with so much light that darkness has no choice but to retreat.

Boy with diamond eyes.

Play corner with slide, my daughters favorite place
Following my normal routine I stopped at the small play corner with my 3 year young (why people use this old word don't know) daughter. Each open ground in Nagpur is normally a play place for kids. Jaiprakash Nagar ground has an exception of a small slide with a merry-go-round of four plastic ducks. My daughter is very much fond of this slide (ghasargundee) so it is my habit to stop by this play corner whenever I pass by this place.

There was a boy with glittering eyes.
Today I saw a small boy around 8 to 9 years young, playing on the merry-go-round with immense happiness in his eyes. He was playing on the toys just as he is playing for the last time in his life. Ok I was not reading his mind but what appeared to me from his actions was very near to that.

His eyes were telling me that he is the happiest boy in the world today. What is so great about this play corner that the boy was so happy? Thoughts started crossing my mind. Being happy for playing is ok but this happiness was extreme. My daughter started playing on the slide, and with her usual style started uttering random words, and talking to me. Baba, yaa na.ntar malaa dairy milk gheoon deshil. Ho beta aapan gheu ha dairy milk, like this I was also responding with a playfull way.

Parting time - a touchy lesson
Then suddenly with great pain in his eyes the boy stopped playing. I was curious about what he will do next. He uncovered one big vessel full with Idli-sambar from under a big cloth that he has kept under the bushes. He kept the vessel on his head and suddenly there was a small vocal instrument in his hands the same which is used in earlier rikshaw pullers. He started yelling Idli-sambar, with his voice flute, and started his business for living.

Then it occurred to me. He was playing as much as he can between his business trip, that he has to make daily for his living. Oh, Boy what he was doing in his play age. Looking towards my daughter unaware of all this earthly facts, I had feeling so touchy that I cannot express in these mundane words.

Boy with diamond eyes
That play corner always reminds me the facts of this life. That boy with sparkling eyes and his desire to play when he was burdened by the destiny to sell idli-sambar on the streets.

Tushar

Pain is being poured into cup of my life, just as darkness is poured into night.

When a orthopedic surgeon starts writing poems. We can read immense feelings and depth in the writing. Same is the case with Priyadarshan Potdar. When I read his poetry I was stunned due to the bare concepts he presents through his style of writing.


aaNi yaa raatreelaa

yaa aayushhyaalaa kasaa duHkhaachaa vaas yeto
jasaa raatreelaa kaaLokhaachaa yaavaa.

kitee kaaLokha bharalaa
mhaNaje hee raatra phuTel
aaNi ritee hoiil
pa.nkha nasalelyaa paxaasaarakhee
nirarthak aaNi nishhpraaN?

maajhyaa aayushhyaat daravaLaNaaree hee vyathaa
nidaan too taree hu.ngeet rahaa,
maajha.n man taDakaNyaapoorvee
saaThavoon Thev tilaa yaa shabdaa.nchyaa kupeet.

vaayaa jaauu deuu nakos
yaa vaahoon gelelyaa niraadhaar kaaLokhaasaarakhee,
jasa.n pahaaTes taa.nbaDa.n phuTaava.n
tashee halakech ye
aaNi yaa raatreelaa sadgatee de.

1987, laaTaa.nchyaa aasapaas, priyadarshan potadaar

What a concept!
yaa aayushhyaalaa kasaa duHkhaachaa vaas yeto
jasaa raatreelaa kaaLokhaachaa yaavaa.

Here we can find the intensity of sorrow the poet is expressing. We can imagine the sorrow and pain he must have seen due to his profession and also he is sensitive to the world in a unique way is what we can decipher from his lines.

kite kaaLokha bharalaa
mhaNaje hee raatra phuTel

Wow, what a idea, and when we relate this to the earlier metaphor we can simply imagine

kite duHkha bharale
mhaNaje he aayushhya phuTel

I remember four lines by cha.n go here,

jhepel tevhaDhech duHkh
to aapalyaalaa deto
aaNi duHkha sa.npale kee
aapalyaalaach neto.



Tushar

Do we get nervous because someone is superior?

Someone better than us - nearby :O
When there is some new entry in class or group and that person is say fluent in English. We can see that person speaking very fluently with others. Obvious is the response of the listeners. People are attracted to that person. Sometimes the reaction of this incident on us is jealousy, envy or just dejection.

Can Someone superior mean we are inferior?
Yes. Many a times we get unhappy because someone is good or better than us. When I think of this situation ideally we shouldn't. Again some other person being superior never means I am inferior. But then why this feeling come to me, and hurt me continuously.

Turning mountain into Gold Mine
So if there is a new person in our group speaking fluent English instead of envy, or saying "um shisThach aahe", we can take this thing as a asset or advantage. How? Yes this can be called as taking advantage of your fear for your betterment. If looked with a different angle now we will be listening good English often around us. Certainly a chance to learn more by repetition. We can take that person as a resource for us in learning English. But often our ego comes in our way.

Are we afraid of being exposed?
Yes. We are afraid of being exposed. The fact is if we never accept that we have lots to learn, we never learn, we remain in the same position where we are. So next time when I see someone near me speaking nice in public, drawing good paintings, writing good poem, I will be happy and remember yes now I have one person who can show me how to do good in that field as a resource person.

Competition should with ourselves not others.
Rose cannot compete with Jasmine. In the same way no one on this earth can compete truly with other as each one is a unique person. S important is if I am ahead of what I was yesterday then it is progress, and time to give myself a pat on the back.

Tushar

When someone appreciates - feels good

I know anybody just saying me that I am good wont make me good, in the same way anybody just saying me bad or inefficient doesnt make me bad or inefficient. Still when people comment and make statements we are hearing from some corner and then we find ourselves dejected, off mood. Sometimes our whole day gets lost dejected.

What is this? I call this surrendering control to people. We are so vulnerable sometimes that we could not understand that people are controlling our lives. As soon as I enter the office, someone asked me hey are you ill or what, your face looks yello and pale. For the whole day I feel something is wrong with me. I work in a dull manner. What has that person done to me. He has just commented on me. That actually doesnt makes any physical change in me. But my chemistry is certainly changes. My mood is off. This is that other person who is controlling my life. He has decided how I should spend my day, and I have easily surrendered to him.

Taking the concept to the other side. If we want to make someone's day then we must search for chances where we can tell the person his abilities. The real ones. When I told one of my friends that he talks so good that his recorded cassettes can be marketed and will be successfull. He was in high spirits the whole day, and I was also happy as I havent said anything untrue.

kadhee javaLachyaa mitraakaDe
phakta tyaachyaa saaThee jaave
aapalee duHkhe aapalyaa chi.ntaa
sagaLe tevaDhyaa purate visaraave

gelyaa gelyaa tyaas mhaNaave
phakta tujhyaa saaThee aalo
tujhee aaThavaN yet hotee
iatakyaat bheTach jhaalee navhatee

to sukhaane phuloon yeiil
ekaTepaNaa visaroon jaaiil
tyaachaa ujalataa cheharaa paahoon
aapaNahee ujaLoon yaave

kadhee javaLachyaa mitraakaDe
phakta tyaachyaa saaThee jaave

            (tushhaar, naagapoor)

We tell qualities of others seldomely. If we can make someone's day just by saying some good thing then we must do it atleast twice. But of-course saying what is not should be avoided.

Tushar

Buying college projects - Recent Trend

Scenario - College Campus final year students.

Hey friends, see we are a group of five students, but no body of us know programming language to that level which is required to make a good and impressive project. But friends our project must be superb, I mean mind-blowing, everybody must praise our project.

So what to do friends. Yes I know one of our senior who was telling they have purchased their final project from some person. We can go there and in just 5000 to 6000 rupees i.e. a 1000 per student we can get the project done from them.

Ok. We all agree. As we have to complete all our journals, and all the assignments are also due, and what, see our examinations are also near. How are we going to learn all the state of the art languages, required to make a complete project in this much 3 months time frame.

Hey I met our guide yesterday and he was telling me to make our project look good, I mean good graphics, and some things like adding some voice or telephony or networking anything that rocks. How are we going to do all those things without any guidance?

Ok friends after meeting the provider we have finalized the project in 7000 rupees. They will give us the source code and also will explain what they have done in programming. And they will also help us in making our project reports. Now we are relieved man, really.

And one more thing we will not be disclosing this thing to anybody. It is understood that we have developed this project by or own.

(This is a bitter fact now a days I have seen amongst students. I am still thinking for the solution of this problem.)

Tushar

Hate is Dangerous for health

I have seen all the time, hate for somebody leads to emotional problems in our own system. We pay a heavy amount of our time and emotional balance just to maintain hatred with someone. Who are we punishing? Actually this is a punishment of somebody else's fault that we give to ourselves.

Forgiveness is not easy, as it requires power. Cowards can never forgive, egoists can never forgive as their confidence balance is based on false assumptions. Only a person who has courage, and mental balance can forgive and break the chain of hatred.

Descrimination

The question raised by Abhijit was somewhat like this:

> There are some yahoogroups named like Maratha,
> Chitpawan/kobraweb ,shimpi s , vanjari s ,parsi s I
> mean to say is racially discriminated groups.

> Sunita Nandu wrote:> . . . . aaplaya jatichi manse
> gola karane v dusrayalay dur lotane hyachi janiv
> tumhi dusra jatichya manasalya karaun det aahe.

This statement is biased. When people of some common interests and intentions come together, we cannot always say that they are ignoring others, or discriminating others.

> Sunita Nandu wrote:
> Aata aapan 21 va shatakat aahe tevha dharma, jatiyata hi
> sarve bajula tevun aapan sarve ekatra yene aavashyak
> aahe.

Ok. This concept needs some more thinking and explanation.Let me put the things in a different way. Suppose you are in trouble due to some family tradition and perplexed whatto do in a particular festival at home, what you do. The normal solution is to contact some family member near orfar who has gone through the same traditions and ritualsand to ask about their comment on it. So if these type offamily problems are discussed on some yaho group bycollecting all family members scattered in the world, can it be calledas discrimination.

The whole idea of gathering is not to ignore others, discriminate others always. When you classmates meet after many dayscan it be called ignoring other scoolmates? :-O or discrimination?

> Sunita Nandu wrote:
> jar ashi pratek jatichi yahoogroups keli tar aapan pakat tya
> jatimadhe adkun rahu sahakto va jatiyavaad nirmaan
> karane aahe.

What I feel is creation of Family or the whole concept of living together as a family is formed for synergy, and notto discriminate other non family members. When you livein one house, with one good name to it, are you dicriminatingpeople living in other houses just because you are not livingtogether?

The single point I am highlighting is one should also thinkon the other side of the coin, the situation. If some peoplewith similar past and experiences, eager to discuss the pastand solve the problems due to fixed traditions then a betterway is to gather similar people and discuss the problemwithg them first before putting the things in front ofall the Desh Ki Janata.

> Veena Hosur wrote:
> Classification on the basis of caste like "brahmins
> group" or Iyengars group" or "Maratha group" that is a
> different thing.

I dont feel it as a bad thing if it is done for discussionsand betterment of past traditions, and for solutionsto the problems faced by the community as a whole.

How to perform "BodaN" can only and should be discussedwith people who have done it or know how to do it sobetter be discussed in a group formed by similar traditions.

This doesnt mean people are discriminating others who dontknow anything about "BodaN", (a tradition followed only bysome kokanastha people)

> Veena Hosur wrote:
> I do know such groups created by
> fanatics exists who cannot think beyond their caste or
> creed. Thats a different story all together and the
> less said about them the better as these people are
> still living in stone-age.

I dont know what groups are referred by the above statements but when ever i have got a chance to discuss with groups formed on caste basis i alwayshave seen a concern in members for better communicationof the traditions, rituals, betterment of the community

Tushar